Travel journalist Lauren David shares tips for traveling with a parent.
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Traveling with a parent as an adult can be a great bonding experience and a chance to get to know your mom or dad in a new way. When my mom first visited me while I was living in northern Spain in 2013, it was her first time in Europe as an adult. She was eager to sightsee, taste new foods, sip wine on terraces and people-watch past her typical bedtime. She didn't have a strict routine, nor did she want to be in bed by 10:30 pm. When I expressed my surprise, she replied with a big smile, “I'm on vacation.” I experienced a different and more relaxed version of my mom.
We’ve traveled together a few more times since then—in Southern Italy and Croatia—and each trip shifted our dynamic. In Spain’s Basque Country, she was on my turf and relied on me to translate, navigate public transit, and choose where to eat and explore. But in Croatia, we were equals in an unfamiliar place, and without my usual role as guide, we hit a few bumps before realizing we needed to reset our expectations. By our third mother-daughter trip, planning felt far easier; by this point, we’d learned how each other operates on the road and outside our comfort zones.
Here are some of my tips for traveling with a parent:
- Figure out your planning styles
- Determing what travel styles you are comfortable with
- Build downtime into your itinerary
- Designate time alone to recharge
Figure out your planning styles
Before you embark on your travels, you'll get a sense of how each person's preferences are with researching and planning. For example, my mom loves the research and planning process as much as she loves traveling. We had to learn to compromise on how far in advance to begin the planning process and delegate tasks. Then, we'd set a time to come together to discuss over the phone or in-person.
- Know each other's comfort levels for making reservations: Pick a deadline to make your bookings and stick to it. Indecisiveness or waiting until the last minute to book accommodations, flights and activities could mean more stress later on. Prices could be higher and you won’t have as many options.
- Discuss budget: Talking about money, including where you want to splurge and what you prefer to save money on, is essential for an enjoyable and amicable trip.
Determine what travel styles you are comfortable with
Knowing how you plan to get around is essential to minimizing any conflicts or misunderstandings. Think about your energy levels, goals, and budget. If you're traveling in the United States, renting a car may be needed, while trips to a European city are typically easy to get around, either by walking or public transit. For example, my mom enjoys taking public transport because it gives her a window into the daily lives of locals and is more economical. Check in with your parents to see if they are comfortable with walking, taking public transport or if they prefer a taxi.
- Address any concerns your parents may have: Know when it's okay to encourage one option over another and when to respect each other's boundaries. If a parent expresses fear of taking public transit, talk it through and be respectful of their concerns. It’s usually not worth the fight just to save a few dollars instead of taking a taxi.
- Mobility or accessibility issues: Some public transport options, like a subway or metro, may not be ideal because lifts aren't always available. Getting to the platform may require walking up or down a lot of stairs.
Build downtime into your itinerary
It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of planning a trip and wanting to see as many sights as possible. Once you arrive, you may realize that distances are further than you anticipated, your energy levels are lower due to jetlag, or you're tired from walking more than you're used to. Incorporating downtime into your plans makes for a more enjoyable trip and lessens potential disappointment or resentment for having to cut things out at the last minute. Plus, downtime allows you to add any activities, such as festivals or events, or even a museum you may not have known about, to your schedule if you feel up for it.
- Minimize overloading the itinerary: Having a lighter schedule means not having to race from one activity to another, which is exhausting and harder to enjoy a trip, especially for an older adult.
Designate time alone to recharge
Everyone can benefit from some alone time to recharge and relax, no matter how much you enjoy your parents' company. It doesn't need to be a whole or half day, simply adding an hour or two each day can be helpful for each person to tend to their interests, whether it's writing in a journal, reading a book, organizing their photos, posting to social media or taking a nap. When I traveled with my mom in Spain and in Croatia, it wasn't until a full week in that we realized our only break from each other was when we were sleeping. After that, we made sure each day we had at least an hour to be on our own to do whatever we felt like.
- Consider doing some activities on your own: If one person has a preference for visiting an art museum, and the other prefers shopping, part ways for a couple of hours to do what you like.
Traveling with a parent as an adult isn’t always seamless, but with a little communication and flexibility, it can become one of the most meaningful ways to connect. You may come home with great memories and a deeper understanding of each other. Get out there and plan that trip!
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